Just A Taste of What You Paid For
by letsbakecookies
Summary: The usual doppleganger hijinks, with a twist, and the added commentary by the ever present and overworked Tyler, Jeremy, and Caroline.


**Author's Note:** Written around 4 AM and inspired by Panic! At The Disco albums originally intended to help me cure insomnia. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect and I got inspired to write for the first time in _months_. Or fortunately. However you wanna see it.

Please forgive me if my rustiness in writing shows too much. It's been a while since I've tried fanfiction and this is the very first I've written for this fandom. Hope you like it.

* * *

><p>"Screw this job." Caroline sighed as she flopped down on the chair paralell to where her favorite chef was dicing.<p>

"You say that everyday." Jeremy grinned over his shoulder at his own favorite waitress.

"Well I mean it this time! I mean, I know Elena is a totally cool about everything and whatever, but I swear to God, if someone grabs my freaking ass one more time..."

"You'll what? Quit? C'mon Care, you quit yesterday. And the day before that, and-"

"The day before that." Tyler cut in with a knowing smirk, surveying the kitchen after ditching his normal post at the bar.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I get it, I'm stuck here waiting tables for another decade. Or at least until I get my Master's or get married to Johnny Depp so I won't need money." she pouted, remembering the plans inspired by Chunky Monkey and _way_ too much alcohol.

"Right."

"Gilbert, Forbes, Lockwood, what in the name of hell are you doing!"

The trio quickly swerved around to meet the sapphire eyes of their increasingly flushed manager.

"Um, nothing Matt! We were just cleaning...uh..._these_!" she grinned broadly at her discovery of the filthy dishes _slash_ her excuse and slapped them down in victory.

Until, however, they audibly cracked on impact.

"_Crap_!" The young blonde pouted as the vein in her manager's forehead because increasingly protruding.

"Get back to work. That applies to you two too." The boys groaned in response as their blonde asshole (if you asked either of them) of a superior stormed out of the kitchen.

"And yet, another reason to quit."

"_Caroline!" _Jeremy and Tyler huffed in unison.

* * *

><p>"Oh my god, can you check out the ass on that guy? I bet you could bounce a freaking quarter off it, and you know what they sa-"<p>

"No, I don't Caroline, because I am not checking out anyone with a penis. If you asked about the redhead's Kim Kardashianan across the bar, then yeah, but not a dude."

Caroline lightly shoved her co-worker into the counter as she snickered.

"_Ugh_, Tyler, why do you have to be so pervy all the time?"

He snorted in response.

"Says the girl who was commenting about a guy's rear end about 20 seconds ago."

"That is so not the same!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Yes, it is!"

Jeremy Gilbert jokingly tsked as he positioned himself in between the pair, interuptting their banter.

"Now, now children, now is not the time to be arguing over silly things like rear ends, customers to serve and all that."

Caroline stuck her tongue out in response, as Tyler simply opted to roll his eyes.

"Yes, _boss_." the older man mocked affectionately.

"Speaking of bosses, has anyone seen Elena lately?" Jeremy asked with a furrowed brow.

"Probably went out for_ breakfast_, if you know what I mean." Tyler winked conspiratorially.

"_Tyler!_ You know they have like, synthetic blood for that, and it is totally rude to make assumptions because of something someone was forced into because they're totally normal and that is like _racism_! And racism is frowned upon in all 50 states and-"

"Caroline, we get it, I was kidding. It's just really fucked up to think our own boss is _programmed_ to eat us." Tyler sighed.

"C'mon Ty, Care's right, Lena's like a sister to me, even though she is technically almost 50 years older than me, _but_-" Jeremy started, before being interrupted by Tyler's warning.

"_Shit!_ Bennett, four o'clock." Tyler muttered as they all quickly pretended to do their jobs.

"Do you need a refill?"

"Was it an order of two burgers or three?"

"How about them Nicks, eh?"

As soon as their other manager was out of earshot, they resumed their usual positions.

"Hey! Aren't you going to finish my order?"

"Are you sure about that? You could really skip a meal or two, sweetie." Caroline offered a sympathetic smile to go with her biting comment as she hopped back up on the bar stool.

"So, what should do about this whole 'Elena missing' thing?" Jeremy began.

"Really doubt a vampire needs rescuing." Tyler scoffed at the same time Caroline said, "She's tough, probably just a bad hangover."

"I don't know guys, I have a pretty bad feeling about this..."

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't we wake her up or something?"<p>

"150 years really hasn't made you any smarter, has it _Steffie_?"

"I'll take that as a yes." The younger Salvatore sat up while running his hands through his hair.

"Oh_ Kath-er-ineee_." Damon Salvatore cooed viciously at the woman he longed to, figuratively, beat the living shit out of since he found out the truth behind her 'death'.

"Time to wake up, sleeping beauty."

Elena Flemming moaned in pain, struggling to yank off the chains as she slowly opened her eyes.

Puzzled by what laid before her, she blinked once, then blurted out,

"Where am I and what the hell do you want?"

"Revenge, dear sweet Katherine." The darker haired of the two smirked at the figure sprawled across his basement floor.

"Revenge? Katherine? I beg your pardon?" Elena interjected, mouth slightly ajar.

"Don't pretend, Katherine, we know it's you." Stefan sighed as he shook his head at the identical copy of his past love.

"My name is not Katherine." she managed to sputter indignantly.

"Riiight, you go by 'Kat' now, right?" Damon sneered as he continued to survey the woman who ruined his life. Or un-life. Har, har, har.

"My name is Elena. I swear, I'm not whoever you're talking about. I have never seen either of you in my life."

Damon chuckled lowly, crouching down and brushing the hair out of his captive's face as he held her head level to his own.

"Oh, you _swear_! Makes my job a lot easier."

Her expression was blank.

He really had to give her some credit, she was always a great actress.

The worst part was he almost believed her.

Scratch that, actually.

He _believed her _and it bit him in the ass, almost literally.

"Not this time Katherine." he whispered softly as his brother began to add more vervain to her ropes and she hissed in pain.

"Not this time."

* * *

><p>"Okay, I tried her cell like, ten times. Something is definitely up, and Tyler, I swear to God if you say one more than about her having fangs, I will throw your werewolf ass into the table."<p>

Caroline huffed exasperated as the threesome met, yet again, at the bar to discuss the fate of their boss, and friend.

"I know, this is just too weird of her, she's always on top of everything." Jeremy frowned at what could be happening to someone who had always been there for him.

"We could try looking for her." Tyler suggested dismally.

"Right, genius, like we can obviously team up to find a vampire. Why _I don't know how _I didn't think of it myself!" Caroline spat out sarcastically as they all slumped in their seats.

"Do you have any better ideas, Caroline?"

"Well_...no."_

"So we just wait then?" Jeremy huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"It's not like we have a _choice_."

* * *

><p>"Wait, wait, please. Is there any way I can prove to you that I'm not her?" Elena panicked as soon as Damon brought down his fancy stake collection. She had no idea how she got here, or what happened, but she did know stake, plus her, equals dead. <em>Again.<em>

"Unless you're saying you're Katherine's identical twin who also happens to be a vampire, you have little wiggle room in this matter." Damon smirked at his brother, who seemed oddly confused.

"Hang on a second, Damon. Let's hear her out, just in case." Stefan frowned as he remembered the brief period that he scouted Katherine out. He recalled seeing this girl risk her life for a human girl, which would be something Katherine would never even dream of. He sincerely doubted she had changed that much in a century in a half.

"Have you lost your mind? This is _Katherine_, the one who put us against each other, who made us into what we are now, who killed all her friends with no remorse. She deserves to _die." _

Elena visibly flinched at the emphasis Damon put on the word _'die' _as she managed to breathe out,

"I'm not _her_."

With that, Damon decided on a different approach. All nice, up close, and personal.

"Look _Katherine_," he hissed the vampire's name through his teeth. "We're in no mood for your games, and as I remember, this little exercise requires no talking."

And with that, he aimed the stake into her heart...

..._only_ to flop on the floor seconds later with the same stake not too far from his own heart, and a loud _'whoosh'_ of air as his prisoner escaped.

Stefan obviously _also_ lost that battle, seeing as he was currently writhing in his own stash of vervain.

Damon hissed as he pulled the stake out and glared at his brother.

_"Stefan, would you like to explain to me what the hell just happened?"_


End file.
